#21 [url]

Aug 23 10 7:49 PM

I guess the only thing to say is Best of Luck to you.

Let us know how it turns out.

The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil...is for good men to do nothing
Edmund Burke(1729-1797)
Irish Philosopher,statesman


�With integrity, nothing else counts. Without integrity, nothing else counts.�

We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them. � Albert Einstein.

"To see what is right, and not to do it, is want of courage or of principle."
Confucius

STAY THE F..K OUT OF CAMLAND...YOU ARE ALL FODDER

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#22 [url]

Aug 23 10 7:59 PM

Thanks Trainer. I will let you know what happens. Thats the main reason I decided to post as Ive seen a couple of these types of posts without ever reading how it actually ended.

Will be good to contribute a complete story to this excellent forum.

Edit : main reason I posted was probably to get it off my chest to be honest but the other reason is valid too

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#24 [url]

Aug 24 10 12:13 AM

Well I have a question for you Smoked. Do you consider her to be like the title of this thread states a 'webcam girl' or is she a friend who happens to be employed in video chat hostessing?

Meeting up with someone you met online and transforming the relationship froma virtual one into a real life one is always going to be tricky. Some people are afraid to try to move the relationship outside of the little window box because it changes it. Its not always a bad thing though to change.

Do you see this girl in a romantic fashion? You said the prvt shows had diminshed but is there a romantic connection with her? Does she live close enough to become someone you could visit regularly?

I think if you both have the same intentions then you have nothing to worry about.

on a side note. Friends are good to have, but friends with money who can help you are better...

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#25 [url]

Aug 24 10 1:36 AM

Miss Jane struck an important detail when viewing this all.

How do you view her, Smoke?

I sincerely want you to succeed and find something good. But please take it slow and carefully. Think with your head that has the brain inside it.

Why is it better to have friends with money, Miss Jane?

I tend to think that my friends that are less well off are no different than those that are well off. The only difference is that one has money and the other does not.

Hmmm....

The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil...is for good men to do nothing
Edmund Burke(1729-1797)
Irish Philosopher,statesman


�With integrity, nothing else counts. Without integrity, nothing else counts.�

We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them. � Albert Einstein.

"To see what is right, and not to do it, is want of courage or of principle."
Confucius

STAY THE F..K OUT OF CAMLAND...YOU ARE ALL FODDER

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#26 [url]

Aug 24 10 3:25 AM

why is it better if your brothers a lawyer? or your uncles a cop? or someones halfbrother is the mayor of the town you live in? Connections. Some times its not what you know but who you know..

If my car breaks down or Im stranded somewhere Id much rather have two friends i can call that could send me some money to help me out then a phone full of contacts who are all very nice people but no better off then i am.

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#27 [url]

Aug 24 10 4:01 AM

Hi Smoked. And welcome to CGN. Sharing like that isn't easy unless you're sure of yourself. I'm sometimes pretty brutal in how I describe performer/member interaction, and stand behind what I've said looking at the whole industry from a high level view. When you take it down to the level of individuals though, what happens is unpredictable because of the personalities of the people involved.

Then let's just say people are people, and genuine attraction can't be denied. You've got questions about what's real and what's not. You can be sure she does too if she's also genuine. Trust takes time, and you'll figure it out together along the way. What you talk about and the things that are between you, should remain between you in my opinion. As with any relationship, airing it out in the open isn't always the best course of action. But I can relate to what you've said.

As long as you're going into this without expectation, and simply open to what might happen, you're in good shape. How else would you enter into a good relationship? Good luck, and I wish you both happiness.

Breeze

~ ~ AFFINITY ~ ~

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#28 [url]

Aug 24 10 11:25 AM

That is interesting.... CoolBreeze, I had that very same view going in, No Expectations, but you go into it all innocent and gushy and there is no real way to avoid expectations....eventually.


Miss Jane, your mixing up people having money with people who have a job and an ability. I can find 5 mechanics, 5 lawyers, 5 cops whom are all unemployed these days who still can help me just the same.

Lol, a Mayor? I would not trust a politician even if they stripped naked, hopped on one foot, and screamed I can do things for you, in Macy's window.

But returning to Smoke's condition, if I am not mistaken, as you both grew closer and more intimate, your private shows declined... between you both.

Why, you stopped objectifying her huh. You actually got to know the person eh...

I am genuinely advising you, tread carefully. Ask honest and frank questions, and really get to know each other.

The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil...is for good men to do nothing
Edmund Burke(1729-1797)
Irish Philosopher,statesman


�With integrity, nothing else counts. Without integrity, nothing else counts.�

We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them. � Albert Einstein.

"To see what is right, and not to do it, is want of courage or of principle."
Confucius

STAY THE F..K OUT OF CAMLAND...YOU ARE ALL FODDER

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#29 [url]

Aug 24 10 2:08 PM

QUOTE
I would not trust a politician even if they stripped naked


I would. it means he's an opened person that cares less about aparences
In Romania almost all the politicians have bad things in their files, a lot worse than stripping (fraud, torturing others in the communist time, corruption...) Not to mention those who strip and not only in their superior's desks

You cannot be part of the crowd and achieve your dream at the same time.

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#30 [url]

Aug 24 10 4:05 PM

QUOTE
That is interesting.... CoolBreeze, I had that very same view going in, No Expectations, but you go into it all innocent and gushy and there is no real way to avoid expectations....eventually


High hopes are different than expectations. With accountability comes expectations. And to develop a closeness where accountability is natural and mutually accepted, it takes time. When you're close enough to hold each other accountable, then have expectations. Until then, have high hopes. And allow yourself the reality that your hopes may be dashed away, and decide for yourself if the other person is worth the emotional risk. If it doesn't work out, deal with it gracefully. Pretty much the same for all people, no matter where you might be employed. The only person you really have control over is yourself.

Breeze

~ ~ AFFINITY ~ ~

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#31 [url]

Aug 24 10 4:07 PM

Well camgirl, maybe it's time for a change... or you enjoy the status quo as is?

Perhaps the pool of available politicians leave something less than desired.

"We can not solve problems using the same thinking that created them"

Albert Einstein

The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil...is for good men to do nothing
Edmund Burke(1729-1797)
Irish Philosopher,statesman


�With integrity, nothing else counts. Without integrity, nothing else counts.�

We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them. � Albert Einstein.

"To see what is right, and not to do it, is want of courage or of principle."
Confucius

STAY THE F..K OUT OF CAMLAND...YOU ARE ALL FODDER

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#32 [url]

Aug 24 10 4:25 PM

QUOTE (UncleLewis @ August 23, 2010 10:57 pm)
  Welcome Smoked.. In addition to the posts in this thread, did you ever look at this topic http://camgirlnotes.15.forumer.com/index.php?showtopic=1778?
UL

I have read that disturbing thread Uncle. I am nothing like that animal.

I have a question for you. Why not just ask me my intentions instead of posting that thread and judging me on how I chose to interpret your post?

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#33 [url]

Aug 24 10 4:35 PM

QUOTE (MissJane @ August 24, 2010 12:13 am)
Well I have a question for you Smoked. Do you consider her to be like the title of this thread states a 'webcam girl' or is she a friend who happens to be employed in video chat hostessing?

Meeting up with someone you met online and transforming the relationship froma  virtual one into a real life one is always going to be tricky. Some people are afraid to try to move the relationship outside of the little window box because it changes it. Its not always a bad thing though to change.

Do you see this girl in a romantic fashion? You said the prvt shows had diminshed but is there a romantic connection with her? Does she live close enough to become someone you could visit regularly?

I think if you both have the same intentions then you have nothing to worry about.

on a side note. Friends are good to have, but friends with money who can help you are better...


I consider her to be a person not her job. But its been like that since day one and I would feel the same if I talked to a new model today. Im an IT Engineer but thats what I do not who I am.

I do see this girl in a romantic fashion, but within reason. We have never met. Its a nice dream but its going to depend completely on how get on in 'real life'. Is there a genuine attraction there , on both sides. Who knows.

We have talked about it. We are meeting as friends. Anything else will happen naturally or not at all. Im very happy with that.

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#34 [url]

Aug 24 10 4:40 PM

QUOTE
High hopes are different than expectations. With accountability comes expectations. And to develop a closeness where accountability is natural and mutually accepted, it takes time.


Who said anything about high hopes(unless you're referring to Smoke)... pay attention Smoke .

Accountability... hmmm.. Do you mean taking responsibility for ones own actions?

With accountability comes responsibility. They are pretty much connected. Unless you do things without accepting the consequences. Then you are niether being responsible and not being accountable to others,but still accountable for your own actions.

Unless you live under a communism or a dictatorship.

Expectations are what someone hopes another person might perform, or act or react under certain circumstances.

"I expected them to answer that question in a certain way"(If not then they are dissappointed in witnessing the unexpected result.)

I expect that person to act in a specific manner or action.

Expectations are personal ideals,subjective in manner. What one person expects may not be what the next person expects, yet another person may agree or like the result while the another may not.

Without a standardized list under situations where the normal desired or analyzed results are to be expected, there can be no specific expectations. It's all just hope and wishful thinking.

QUOTE
The only person you really have control over is yourself.


You got that correct. Only thing is the expected outcomes can either be good or bad depending on an individuals desires,morals,and personality traits.

But then another persons actions can affect and effect others.

The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil...is for good men to do nothing
Edmund Burke(1729-1797)
Irish Philosopher,statesman


�With integrity, nothing else counts. Without integrity, nothing else counts.�

We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them. � Albert Einstein.

"To see what is right, and not to do it, is want of courage or of principle."
Confucius

STAY THE F..K OUT OF CAMLAND...YOU ARE ALL FODDER

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#35 [url]

Aug 24 10 4:43 PM

QUOTE (CoolBreeze @ August 24, 2010 04:01 am)
Hi Smoked. And welcome to CGN. Sharing like that isn't easy unless you're sure of yourself. I'm sometimes pretty brutal in how I describe performer/member interaction, and stand behind what I've said looking at the whole industry from a high level view. When you take it down to the level of individuals though, what happens is unpredictable because of the personalities of the people involved.

Then let's just say people are people, and genuine attraction can't be denied. You've got questions about what's real and what's not. You can be sure she does too if she's also genuine. Trust takes time, and you'll figure it out together along the way. What you talk about and the things that are between you, should remain between you in my opinion. As with any relationship, airing it out in the open isn't always the best course of action. But I can relate to what you've said.

As long as you're going into this without expectation, and simply open to what might happen, you're in good shape. How else would you enter into a good relationship? Good luck, and I wish you both happiness.

Breeze

Great post Breeze, you talk a lot of sense and still gave us a chance

I agree with everything you said. I thought a lot about whether to post here at all, as what happens between us should be something kept between us. But under the cover of anonymity and in the interest of contributing to a useful forum I decided to do it.

I am going into this without expectation. All I want is to meet someone I find smart, funny, fascinating, warm and attractive. As for the rest only God knows.

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#36 [url]

Aug 24 10 4:57 PM

QUOTE (TRAINER @ August 24, 2010 11:25 am)
But returning to Smoke's condition, if I am not mistaken, as you both grew closer and more intimate, your private shows declined... between you both.

Why, you stopped objectifying her huh. You actually got to know the person eh...

I am genuinely advising you, tread carefully. Ask honest and frank questions, and really get to know each other.

I dont believe I ever objectified her. The first private we did, we just talked. She asked me if she should strip and I said I dont mind, I can see your face and thats the thing I like most Then we just got to know each other a little.

I never asked her to do anything for a long time when did do shows together. They were sexual in nature, but it was things she chose to do. Out of habit or maybe it was things she expected I wanted to see , I dont know how she decided. Of course I liked it and I wanted it. I cant pretend Im a saint.

After a lot of time I did ask for some things, but I never felt comfortable with it. Most of the time she laughed at me anyway and things felt OK.

We have done some shows where we just talked. We have done some shows where just I stripped. We have done some shows where she got to boss me around and she did nothing. Its been fun and I hope a 2 way thing at least some of the time.

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#37 [url]

Aug 24 10 5:26 PM

You remind me of someone, Smoke.... can you guess who that is?

Your intentions are well meant.

I am going to toss a few things at you.

What if you never went private or paid for anything from the start?

What if you met her not on a website that she works on?

Is she popular? Meaning is she busy with other members in private?

There seems to be this perception, that paying for a private show regardless of what type it is(just chat, play, whatever) that it is not a form of objectification.

Any person that appears on these sites, is displayed as an object of desire. A commodity. That is just how it is marketed. Does that mean they think themselves as an object though. But then some do feel that way.

You're a good customer as well.

What is your definition of objectification? Or shall I toss in commodified as well.

What was it based upon in the beginning and what is it based upon now. And then how many privates have you had and now have?

And you did mention how you feel about it now.

Listen, I am not trying to dissuade you, just looking at it from another point.

The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil...is for good men to do nothing
Edmund Burke(1729-1797)
Irish Philosopher,statesman


�With integrity, nothing else counts. Without integrity, nothing else counts.�

We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them. � Albert Einstein.

"To see what is right, and not to do it, is want of courage or of principle."
Confucius

STAY THE F..K OUT OF CAMLAND...YOU ARE ALL FODDER

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#38 [url]

Aug 24 10 5:44 PM

QUOTE
Accountability... hmmm.. Do you mean taking responsibility for ones own actions?


Yes. Accountability to the person with whom I have a relationship. And they to me.

QUOTE
Expectations are what someone hopes another person might perform, or act or react under certain circumstances.


No. Expectations are what I EXPECT from that person in the context of our relationship and the rest of the world. And I will hold them accountable when those expectations are not met, and they me when I don't meet theirs. It's a partnership you see, and part of the foundation that gives the relationship it's strength. It grows slowly, and can't be easily shaken because of it.

In Smoke's case, I think he's got the right mind-set. Open to it being something special between them, but realistic in his approach. High Hopes, but no expectations.

What your really getting at Trainer, also deserves attention. Because not everyone is geared the same way and MANY are taken advantage of and emotionally hurt. A relationship with a performer is not for the weak of heart or faint of spirit, and you've got to have a strong enough character to deal with the consequences of your choices in a healthy manner... no matter the outcome.

Breeze

~ ~ AFFINITY ~ ~

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#39 [url]

Aug 24 10 6:28 PM

Trainer,
Im guessing I remind you of you, perhaps a few years back?

What if you never went private or paid for anything from the start? Probably would have been the most honest way to start things. Would she have chatted so much with a random internet name with nothing to gain? I dont know.

What if you met her not on a website that she works on? That would have been ideal. A chance to form a relationship without any of the 'baggage'.

Is she popular? Meaning is she busy with other members in private? Not especially. She is happy to ban people and she is more than happy to respond to idiots in kind Hours can pass with no shows. But then there are times when she is busy and I think there are at least 1 or 2 regulars who will take long shows.

By objectification , I presumed you meant I saw her as an object to be used, with no thoughts or feelings of her own. I always saw the person. Ive been brought up well by my parents, I think, to care and think about others. Unless they are not worth it

What was it based upon in the beginning and what is it based upon now. And then how many privates have you had and now have? In the beginning it was based purely on how attractive looking I thought she was. Now its based on that and how much I like her as a person. We have talked a lot, both online and offline, we know each others lives pretty well.

And you did mention how you feel about it now? I like her very much. I hope it can work, on a friendship level in real life at least. I spent most of the summer going a bit crazy (privately most of the time) thinking about what is real and what is not, but she has convinced me that things are genuine.

I offered her a get out clause a couple of times. I told her I dont need some fantasy about meeting her to want to be a customer and or internet friend. She has never taken it.

We used to do probably a half hour show a week on average. We have done 2 half hours in the last 2 months now I think. After the last one , I said I wont do it anymore. She said but what if I ask you for cam to cam?

I said Id do it.

Im in two minds about it tho. One one hand it could be such a nice thing. On the other, am I just making the situation for her worse? Not only asking for her to 'perform' for my satisfaction, but even making her ask to be able to perform!

This camming situation is driving me a bit crazy.

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