Preserving Your Emotional/Psychological Well Being
while stripping. I saw a new thread that inspired me to share this with you ladies. I've been a dancer on/off now for almost 7 years, and I wish I would've done things differently, or maintained a different mentality while at work, or else I wouldn't have gone through what I've been through, psychologically.
A friend of mine told a me a statistic, I'm not sure her source, but she said that dancers suffer worse Post Traumatic Stress Disorder than Vietnam war veterans, there was an entire book written about this, and I will find out what it is.... anyways, I KNOW I have suffered from this, and still am, based on my mentality and how I worked/let customers affect me. The problem with getting into stripping, is nobody really tells you what to do, how to handle things, etc. because it's taboo, and until you find a forum like this and get good support, you are left on your own to figure things out. This is why you will see from time to time a BEAUTIFUL newbie dancer in the back giving head to an old man for $50...... because she didn't go into this industry with enough.... I don't want to say self confidence, but maybe she was too naive, or whatever. Unfortunately, many times these girls end up with pimps, all because they didn't know any better.
To make it worse, men like the above mentioned prey off girls like this! That's why, if we think back, when we were new, we would get approached by that cliche guy saying, "Why do you work here? You are too good for this... " If you notice, those guys only approach the newer, virginal strippers, with the blinking red light on their heads, who will actually listen to their crap. I haven't been approached by one of those guys in years!
Anyways ladies, here is some wisdom from me to you.... so that you don't go down the wrong path, or sacrifice your mental health and well being while stripping. I hope other girls can chime in and add to this....
1. Always look at stripping as a job, NOTHING MORE. A huge mistake many girls make is letting it pour into other aspects of their life, to where it becomes a lifestyle. You are there to "clock in", make as much $$$ as possible, and "clock out", and LEAVE your stripping persona there. Always keep it separate, like a split personality. Don't act stripper-ish outside of the club. You weren't like that before you started, keep true to yourself, because stripping, if you let it, can heavily change you and your core values and belief system. This change sneaks up on you, it happens little by little, until you are a completely different person from when you started. Stay strong and look at it as a job, not a lifestyle.
2. Maintain your boundaries and comfort level! While in the club, you are at the top of the totem pole. Don't EVER let anyone let you think differently! You are the most important person in the business, more so than the customers, management, DJ, etc. They are all there to accommodate you. YOU make your rules and set your boundaries. You don't have to do something you are not 100% comfortable with. Don't ever feel like you "have" to let a guy touch you in any way or look at you, talk to you, whatever because he's giving you money. You don't! And you shouldn't! Because even letting a guy caress you in a personal way, although this is not the same as grabbing your boob, if it gives you an uncomfortable feeling STOP IT IMMEDIATELY!
I can't say this enough, because each time you allow a customer to over step his boundary, you are doing huge psychological damage to yourself, you don't even realize it. Pretty soon, you will be letting customers touch you in uncomfortable ways every night, because they're nice and you don't want to say anything because they're spending money. This will destroy your self esteem, TRUST ME! Every time you allow something to happen, however small, for a thousand dollars, you will feel beautiful and sexy, making so much money for so little work, it will feed your ego and build you up, but at the same time you don't realize it's chipping away at your soul and psyche, and changing how you view yourself.... I don't know how else to describe this. Stripping is a farce, in this way. Don't let money evoke an emotion..... know that a lot comes with that thousand dollars you just made, and you will have many bad nights as well, after all it's a numbers game.
3. Don't do it full time! Have something on the side..... whether it's school, a day job, a trade, a business, ANYTHING! You will go crazy otherwise. When you feel like, "Oh shit, I HAVE to go into work tonight because my rent is due..." and you don't want to be there at all, you feel forced into it, you sacrifice your mental and psychological well being. You also will be fresher and more positive going into work when you actually have a choice in being there, and you will make more money. When you have something else that is your main focus, and stripping is supplemental income, or you know you will be graduating school and on to better things, you won't feel so forced to be there, you will be sooo much happier, trust me!
I was stripping full time, going back and forth between Dallas and Las Vegas, making a ton of money, but..... I had nothing else. No plans on going back to school, no plans on getting out, nothing. Just stripping. I began to feel hopeless and became very depressed. This had a major affect on my relationships with men, which I won't even get into now... but now that I have my insurance job and I'm a student, I can't tell you how much happier I am!