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Oct 11 12 4:50 AM

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I met a cam girl (non nude) two years ago.  We kept in touch on and off and got along great.  Long story short is we came up with the idea of her coming to NYC for an english course and to visit me.  She said she would work on getting the visa but she would need help with other expenses.  I said fine but wouldnt send cash.  If a flight was required I would buy online etc.  She said that was fine.  

She successfully got the visa and I bought her ticket.  She showed up and stayed with me for six weeks.  We had a great time.  She met family, friends, co-workers etc.  We went out to dinner, ate at home at times, went to concerts, sporting events etc.  We even went on vacation together to my condo in the south where we had a very fun and relaxing time together.  All in all, we spent every day and night together for six weeks straight.  She had to return for graduate school and it was tough for us both when she left. 

We have been in touch since she has been back but its tough with her school schedule, my work schedule and the time difference.  But we are trying.  We are also planning another visit for early next year.

Since being back she said she is tight on money after paying for the class in the states etc.  She didnt want to go back to cam work but really has to in order to make ends meet.  She also asked if I could help as I indicated I would for the course that she paid for herself.  She said she borrowed the money and needs to return it.  

I truly believe she is a good girl.  Not sure someone thats a scammer could spend six straight weeks with someone and appear to really enjoy their time just to get a flight and some extra money.  I bought her some stuff when she was here but nothing over expensive...perfume, a couple shirts, a relatively cheap bag etc.  I would pay for drinks out and dinner as well but I do that for any girl I take out.  Certainly more expensive when not having a girl staying with me but again she wasnt dragging me to fifth ave to buy jewelry etc.

Thoughts?  Was I scammed?  I mean as of now I bought flight and every day expenses and we had a great time together....

I should add I am mid 30's, considered good looking and former Div 1 athlete so still in shape like I am mid 20's.  Never have had a hard time dating, have a good group of friends in NYC and have a great finance job.  She is only 21 but we had discussed that and she even added I dont look my age....

Again, thoughts?  Scam?  
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#1 [url]

Oct 11 12 5:18 AM

I should add the few months leading up to her visit we skyped often and gchatted - I would still log onto her model room but just to see her more often because they restricted her use to just the site when working - most of the contact was at her home... and we exchanged numbers and all before she left as I had to pick her up at the airport...

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#2 [url]

Oct 11 12 5:20 AM

Sorry - one last point - she would not do privates with me and didnt like me tipping her - she said save the money for our trip when together etc.

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#3 [url]

Oct 11 12 9:14 AM

Maybe and maybe not. Why ask strangers as if anyone here should convene a tribunal and judge your case. My advice is this, either ask her and then you evaluate her answer or ask yourself and see how comfortable you feel. Any relationship is a risk. What is the relationship worth to you? What is the lady worth to you? Is the risk worth it? Is she worth it? If you're work is in finance then evaluating cost/benefit should be no stranger to you. That's my advice.

.
.
You stuck your forearm up the backside of an antelope
and you didn't know that you're going for a ride?

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#4 [url]

Oct 11 12 2:25 PM

Welcome Scott

Welcome Scott, What can I say? If you lived together for six weeks, then you didn't have a client/cam-model fantasy relationship but one that's real.
Your issues fall into another category than that of  some impossible, virtual love story, because you were or are, the Significant Other of a woman graduate student who also works as a cam model - sometimes
.
Reuters is right, you know her much better than we do or ever can...But what  you have said certainly suggests that she doesn't want you to relate to her as a client.. Can I ask what country she's from?  Does she work as a studio model?  Does she plan on returning to the States? The answers to those questions might give you a hint as to whether she sees you essentially as a "travel agent," or her real life SO.
UL
CGN Mod

Last Edited By: support Oct 11 12 2:27 PM. Edited 1 time.

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#5 [url]

Oct 11 12 3:59 PM

Im not exactly sure what you're asking here. Seems like you met a girl 2 years ago, invited her on a all expense paid vacation- it went well, youve kept in touch, but its been spotty because youve each been busy with your respective lives. Translation- youre not that into her and shes not that into you. If you were, or she was, youd be the focus of each others lives. Yet for whatever reason youre considering planning a repeat trip.

Did she scam you the first time around? I dont know. It doesnt seem so. Did you offer the trip with the expectation it would develop into a relationship? Because you dont seem so broken-hearted that it didnt. Is she scamming you for another trip? Maybe. Its doubtful shes going to turn down another free trip. She may turn up the charm as the date approaches (to convince you to purchase the ticket), but realistically- if she hasnt had much time for you in her life or made serious attempts at forming a relationship since the last trip, then take a hint. Shes just not that into you.

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#6 [url]

Oct 11 12 5:33 PM

I should add its been a month since she went back - in touch every couple days but obviously much different than how it was for the six week - we have skyped a bit and gchat but the time difference is tough - seven hours. Not sure its a direct yes or no question but rather getting sense how common this is...To be honest i care a lot about her but just treading cautiously given the distance and how we met. And on here for just any additional insight. As for my career and applying a cost / benefit analysis...would never take that approach with a relationship. As much as i can i leave work thoughts at work and dont apply them to personal matters...well outside buying a house or car but because i live in manhattan i have neither ha

Thanks for thoughts...

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#7 [url]

Oct 11 12 8:34 PM

Talking about being lost!!! But I must have finally been banned lol!!!

Quick and dirty. You spent six weeks with this woman that is already passed the scope of this forum. You met!! You should know something by now on your own and not asking bunch of afflicted members, are you being scammed? But from your last post (I can't figure out how to quote lol) sounds like she is gone for another long time (about six weeks again). That is if i understand what you wrote correctly. I think "sugar daddy" and "escort" seem to be operative words here. But keep in mind I don't know you or her and maybe you should ask your friends and family who met her. LOL. And there does not seem to be any affection in your writing and she told you not to take privates so don't. And you will see her early next year for another paid vacation. Have fun!!!smiley: pimp I love this!

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#8 [url]

Oct 11 12 10:29 PM

Hey Glupi,


Why is it just the people outside your limited scope of objectivity, that only people who are on this forum are "afflicted".

You are on here as a member and I presume you are above and beyond being "afflicted" eh?

You read more bitter each and everytime you post here.Banana

Next post, you will subjectively claim Miss Jane is cynical and condescending as well. Tongue02

The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil...is for good men to do nothing
Edmund Burke(1729-1797)
Irish Philosopher,statesman


�With integrity, nothing else counts. Without integrity, nothing else counts.�

We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them. � Albert Einstein.

"To see what is right, and not to do it, is want of courage or of principle."
Confucius

STAY THE F..K OUT OF CAMLAND...YOU ARE ALL FODDER

Last Edited By: Oct 11 12 10:31 PM. Edited 1 time.

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#9 [url]

Oct 11 12 11:00 PM

Ol' Cap'n Hook

Glupi..you weren't banned. CGN changed hosts so you may need to request a new password.. I know I did...
Ol' Cap'n Hook
Har, Har, Har...

"I would no more be a Master than a slave. It does not conform to my idea of Democracy." Abraham Lincoln 1856.

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#10 [url]

Oct 12 12 1:39 AM

Uh thanks UL now i learned something.

My "good" brother Trainer,

I glad you posted because I was going to WC, so I found good usage for your writing.

And if you do want a fight we got an opent topic, post there. Make it short though, I don't want to waste to much time on a jerking Banana

Yup, I am a member therefore I am also afflicted, not as bitter as you though, where I got to hate everybody. Damn you always need everything explained or you start making assumptions or long tangents. And when that isn't enough you put word into peoples mouth (so to writing).

On topic then Scottf

She showed up and stayed with me for six weeks.  We had a great time.  She met
family, friends, co-workers etc.  We went out to dinner, ate at home at times,
went to concerts, sporting events etc.  We even went on vacation together to my
condo in the south where we had a very fun and relaxing time together.  All in
all, we spent every day and night together for six weeks straight.  She had to
return for graduate school and it was tough for us both when she left.

Six weeks is a long time. You should know something here. We don't even know what happened, so what can we answer? You know how much the class cost I don't. this is passed the tipping and private stage. It is either a relationship or isn't.

I truly believe she is a good girl.  Not sure someone thats a scammer could
spend six straight weeks with someone and appear to really enjoy their time just
to get a flight and some extra money.  I bought her some stuff when she was here
but nothing over expensive...perfume, a couple shirts, a relatively cheap bag
etc.  I would pay for drinks out and dinner as well but I do that for any girl I
take out.  Certainly more expensive when not having a girl staying with me but
again she wasnt dragging me to fifth ave to buy jewelry etc.

If you belive she is a good girl then go with that. Did she wear Gucci when she was with you or some Kmart special? she might need that money she didn't work for 6 weeks. Whatever anyone of us says is purely speculative. But if you want to make sure ask her to marry you that should make everything clear. Afterall, you said you care about her a lot. You should talk more and openly to her rather then to us. And this really goes for everyone looking for answers you have to ask the tough questions and that is how you get your answers, you have to figure this out for yourself you have all the info.

Otherwise, it sounds like you are a  "suga daddy" and don't even know it. You don't have to buy dimonds to be a sugar daddy! Kind of the Pretty Woman story smiley: laugh

Popcorn smiley: pimp



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#11 [url]

Oct 12 12 7:48 PM

Well, since its only been a month since your visit- it does change things..
How common is this? Meeting people online and forming relationships? Very common. Meeting someone online through a paid cam site and forming a real life lasting relationship? Less common, but it does occur.
Glupi (who is now posting under tampit) may think Im cynical, but Im a realist. And what I find most disconcerting about your story is the fact that you are in your mid 30s and she is 21. You do realize that an adolescents brain is not fully developed until the age of 25. Its the reason why frat houses exist and girls gone wild dvds and why there are so many 18-23 year old girls on cam sites- because they dont fully understand the repercussions to their futures.
Now Im not saying that your girl isnt capable of being in adult relationship with you, Im just saying her age and the fact that her brain is not fully developed would have played a huge factor in the fact that she accepted your offer and exchanged personal information with a stranger on a porn site and then flew halfway around the world to meet said stranger.
How many of your friends/family members/co workers of a similar age have wives/ girl friends/ SOs that are 21? Probably none... Theres a reason for that.
Second- Just the fact that you are posting here means that deep down you suspect something is off. If something is a duck, you know its a duck. It looks like a duck, it sounds like a duck, it acts like a duck. Theres no need to go around asking strangers- hey do you think this is a duck too?

Last Edited By: MissJane Oct 13 12 12:44 AM. Edited 1 time.

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#12 [url]

Oct 12 12 10:27 PM

I do know that tampit in romanian has a similar definition as Glupi in Polish. Next he will choose.... blbec or chumaj, or maybe... use.... the moniker "идиот". Why waste my time with my disowned (bro)phylactic. He gets bored so he comes here to make fun of others, to make his past failures seem less pathetic.

Hey, Miss Jane I say it another way, If it looks like sh*t, smells likes sh*t and tastes like sh*t, it must be sh*t. Thumbsup

The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil...is for good men to do nothing
Edmund Burke(1729-1797)
Irish Philosopher,statesman


�With integrity, nothing else counts. Without integrity, nothing else counts.�

We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them. � Albert Einstein.

"To see what is right, and not to do it, is want of courage or of principle."
Confucius

STAY THE F..K OUT OF CAMLAND...YOU ARE ALL FODDER

Last Edited By: Oct 12 12 10:30 PM. Edited 1 time.

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#13 [url]

Oct 13 12 12:42 AM

MissJane:

I Have not called you anything yet or have not wrote anything of what I might be thinking about you. The statement you attribute to me was made by my "dear" Bro sTainer. Facts again. But that's how it goes aroung here, he (sTainer) farts (check your shorts) and everyone points at every one else!!! Or mostly just at me.

On topic:

We all agree it's sh*t!!!

Popcorn smiley: pimp

PS I like this nick better, afterall, I am Romanian LOL (cam world got to love it)

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#14 [url]

Oct 13 12 12:30 PM

Honestly I have to say nearly every response here has some bitterness...More or less not useful insight. Hope you all get a better outlook on things.....

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#16 [url]

Oct 13 12 2:23 PM

You're absolutely correct, Scott.... I proved my point. Now if only they would open their own eyes, listen, and look themselves in the mirror, and does some soul searching re-evaluating the reality of themselves, rather than calling others childish names. I hope they realize or listen to someone else instead of denying the obvious.


Well Scott, you see not every interaction between people over the internet between a woman and a member that meets via a cam site works out well as yours did. People get angry, offended and will say and do anything, especially via the internet and for money or gifts, and of course sexual entertainment. It just is so easy, and is a constitutional right of free speech, and freedom. 

I suggest you, not judge everyone, based upon individual squabbles, that you may or may not notice, but you can see how the good, the bad, and the ugly, rears its face and head here on this forum as well as in real life. 

Some people get defensive or offensve, because others fail to have an open mind or compromise to entertain an opposing idea or thought. Some fail to acknowledge or allow themselves to see things from another persons perspective. If you don't agree with something or someone, they point fingers, or say the other is completely wrong, or that something is impossible, based upon stubbornness and self denial. 

You made it work, you came here for some advice, or a pat on the back. Well, now you don't like it, because a few people are cynics or just decided to poke fun or micro judge your relationship. Don't let them create your own bias, here. That is why I posted what I did here, to open someones eyes to what they fail to realize.

Good Luck and...

Be prepared, Scott...

Also, I think Miss Jane mentioned something important regarding women's maturity. I shall venture to guess the same can be true of all teenagers and young adults. Check my post out in the situation in Canada and the US.

The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil...is for good men to do nothing
Edmund Burke(1729-1797)
Irish Philosopher,statesman


�With integrity, nothing else counts. Without integrity, nothing else counts.�

We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them. � Albert Einstein.

"To see what is right, and not to do it, is want of courage or of principle."
Confucius

STAY THE F..K OUT OF CAMLAND...YOU ARE ALL FODDER

Last Edited By: Oct 13 12 3:28 PM. Edited 3 times.

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#17 [url]

Oct 13 12 7:53 PM

While you may say sh*t, I prefer duck. Sh*t implies its negative, whereas duck can go either way. His relationship may be valid and if so, there is no need to validate it further by confirming it on here.


Scott- my first response was way off base, but that was because your post was poorly worded and it read as if you met the girl 2 years ago and had a visit then and minimal amount of contact since and were considering planning a repeat trip in the coming months. Since thats not the case it does change things.


You asked how common it is for camgirls to form relationships with 'members'. The truth is its not very common. Im sorry if that truth or perhaps ULs comment about her possibly viewing you as nothing more then a 'travel agent', makes you feel like this forums is filled with bitterness, but you asked for the truth and sometimes the truth isnt pretty.


The fact is you found a girl who makes a living (or at least is able to earn significant amounts of money) playing off the emotions of men. You did say she was a non nude model correct? Typically in cam speak that means she will strip on occasion, but she will not perform masturbation shows. That means she earns money by her personality. She forms emotional connections with guys. Its hard work and it takes a 'special' kind of girl to pull it off successfully. You also said you met her 2 years ago, so shess been doing this for a while, so she knows what shes doing. Shes not innocent. Trust me when I say she knows exactly how to get what she wants from a man.

The girl is also significantly younger then you. You say your mid 30s. Youre probably closer to 40 then 30. Shes 21. Theres atleast 15+ years between you. I stand by what I said before about her maturity and her brain not being fully developed- its a medical fact.

Regardless of all that, shes in another country, halfway around the world, and apparently English is not her first language if she was here taking a course in it. There was a distinct lack of affection in your posts, but hey maybe you just didnt want to expose yourself that way here, which is fine, but realistically what do you expect to happen now?

If you truly like her and she truly likes you, then you both will move forward and find a way to make it work. Eventually one of you will have to relocate and leave everything youve ever known to be with each other.

But taking all things into account (the fact that shes a skilled hustler and theres a huge gap in age and finances and location) the odds are just not in your favor.

My prediction remains the same as in my initial post, she will continue to accept your 'gifts'- whether their trips, prvts, cash, items, etc. She;ll maintain a virtual relationship with you because its convenient, and its filling a need in her life. It also doesnt interfere much with her daily life because its even though its real- its virtual. Youre so far away. She can still carry on with her day to day routine, go out with her friends, even date- you'll never know if she does pick up a boyfriend. And if she does and it becomes serious, she can end it with you.

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#18 [url]

Oct 13 12 9:03 PM

Miss Jane I was referring to someone who posted here.


I do agree with all you have written,though.

Especially, regarding truth. Or perhaps, in the sense of being realistic about things. 

Discussions of relocation.... one of the hardest things to decide upon, especially when the distance is physically far. Hard to leave friends and family as well, and  to live in a foreign country. 


The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil...is for good men to do nothing
Edmund Burke(1729-1797)
Irish Philosopher,statesman


�With integrity, nothing else counts. Without integrity, nothing else counts.�

We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them. � Albert Einstein.

"To see what is right, and not to do it, is want of courage or of principle."
Confucius

STAY THE F..K OUT OF CAMLAND...YOU ARE ALL FODDER

Last Edited By: Oct 13 12 9:07 PM. Edited 1 time.

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#19 [url]

Oct 13 12 10:08 PM

Sorry that you find this forum "Bitter" "Angry" or "Frustrated" or whatever.

smiley: smokinWell Scott, you wouldn't be the first to complain that the members who post here have a jaded, cynical view of  much of what goes on in Camlandia.. But that holds most true of our view of the web-pimps who profit the most from making the connections between men in the Global North with needy Women in the "Global South and East."  Depending on whom you talk to ofc. Glupi will tell you that we are allies of the studio moguls in Bucharest or Odessa who market naive students to Western Sex Tourists online, and the indpendent Cam-models on SW will tell you we are bitter, angry trolls who promote a "victim vibe" about the Live Sex Chat industry that empowers them to pay their bills, and pay down their student loans, from the comfort of their own homes.. Take your pick, and the charge may fit..

But actually nothing we have ever posted here can match the bitterness and the anger that one can find on the Professional Models forums or forums like this one about Romanian scam artists. Take a look.. And then ask yourself why do these guys and gals constantly sound the warning bell.. link: http://camgirlnotes.fr.yu...rls-New-Topic-Old-Themes
In any case your story sounds different than most, as I've already said.
So let me wish you and your Lady friend the Best of  Luck.
UL

"I would no more be a Master than a slave. It does not conform to my idea of Democracy." Abraham Lincoln 1856.

Last Edited By: UncleLewis Oct 13 12 10:29 PM. Edited 1 time.

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#20 [url]

Oct 13 12 11:52 PM

Yawn!!!

sTainer,
We got a topic that was left open go post there if you want a fight, bitter old fool!!! Grow up!!! You don't like my responses don't start.

Scottf:

Aside from trying to figure out this new layout of the forum, I find your post is dificult to read with bunch of additions that require guessing to what you reffering to in your story. Why you see missJane constatnly posting "this changes things and that changes things..."

I can't figure out if she left a month ago from US or if she is gone from Camming for a month but yet you chatting so is she at home or somewhere different all the time, or you don't know because you don't skype. Again you would know the facts we just have vague description from you.

Othere thing I have not touched yet is you original post where you "both" came up with an idea for her to take English course in US, or was this just your idea? (I am going from memory here becaue again, I can't figure out this site at the moment). I don't see her asking for anything else in your post but for money for this course, which you should know how much it cost. And she said she borrowed it! No way to say she didn't. Since you already paid for so MUCH splurge for this too. (I wouldn't! But that's me!) Then wait and see if she needs money again for something she "borrowed." Or got robbed or cat died. We are not going to solve this for you. And if you keep paying you are a "sugga daddy" and don't even know it.

Again, we are not going to solve this for you, bitter or not!! It's all on you, there is no easy answer here with the little information you gave.

And MissJane she is a nude model even though he says otherwise, he clearly says (paraphrase) she "told" him to take his clothes off and they had like sex (like sex, LOL).

Popcornsmiley: pimp

Last Edited By: tampit Oct 14 12 12:03 AM. Edited 1 time.

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