#21 [url]

Dec 21 08 3:35 AM

Mike, If your not asking for advise then your looking for answers to some questions.



So, if I hang out in a free "text only chat" while she's at work, talking when she's able to, does that make me a freeloader or someone who genuinely cares about the lady he's hanging out with?

So may I answer this and the next question, read the friendship thread. To models, this is the ultimate respect and proof of friendship. But it comes with a price.To other members, your da man. To the studios,owners and website:thanks for being a loyal customer.
Tip and go pvt. Your a friend. Tip and go pvt. You care. Tip and go pvt. Your in love. Tip and go pvt. You are in lust. Tip and go pvt. Your worthy. Tip and go pvt. Maybe your not worthy. Tip and go pvt. Your lonely. Tip and go pvt. Your a loser. Tip and go pvt. Your a wanker. Tip and go pvt. Your a pervert. Tip and go pvt. Your fantasy come true. Tip and go pvt. Your a sucker. I think I covered a lot of different possibiltities. Don't tip and don't go pvt...........

Also, if I occasionally take her (and only her I might add) private so we can actually talk and not type, does that mean I'm feeding the system?Read the friendship thread again.

That was free, no tip required thank you.

In the game of seduction, there is one rule, never fall in love.

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#22 [url]

Dec 21 08 4:25 AM

QUOTE (Bittersweet @ December 20, 2008 07:35 pm)
Mike, If your not asking for advise then your looking for answers to some questions.


Yeah, I'm looking for answers to be sure. Many of which, I doubt I will ever find pertaining to what's weighing on me. I thought I might find some of those answers here at CGN.


QUOTE
That was free, no tip required thank you.


Mighty gracious of you to extend credit in economic times like this... j/k

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#23 [url]

Dec 21 08 6:10 AM

Just my opinion about reality:

No matter where I go or what I
might think, feel, believe, or do ...
reality always prevails!!!!

I think it's kinda nice how our universe always seems to work like that for me!
Maybe I live in a fantasy world to some extent but I always seem to feel a little better when I can find the courage to examine my own limitations and accept my life a little more deeply on its own terms ... as it is ... not as I imagine it to be.


Be kind, for [nearly] everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. -- Philo
Curiosity Didn't Kill This Cat. -- Studs Terkel
Simply paying attention allows us to build an emotional connection. Lacking attention, empathy hasn't a chance. --Daniel Goleman

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#24 [url]

Dec 22 08 12:13 AM

Time for some general advise. Take it or leave it,use it or lose it.

The only answers worthwhile are those to the questions you ask the most important people concerned. The stupidest question is the one not asked. Whether the question is asked to yourself or another person.

Those questions may be important,but the answers to them are even more important. Sometimes silence to a question is an answer in itself. If you know what I mean.

Without answers to questions asked you will never know the reality or truth to anything. You will always be in the dark.

Those questions need to be asked and the questions need to be answered also.

In the game of seduction, there is one rule, never fall in love.

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#26 [url]

Dec 22 08 9:08 PM

Ok, this is quite an eternal topic on CGN, but this is also the question every web-surfer on a cam website asked himself at least once.

So I won't advise anyone to go prvt or not. As I've already said in an other thread, if you want to do it, do it, if you don't, don't. As long as there is no remorse.

Still, just for the personal touch, I'm gonna talk a little about my own experience...this must be the Xmas spirit invading me...ouch.

I'm not a member of any cam show website. By this I mean that I never took a girl in private, never sent a cent by paypal, never took my credit card out of my wallet for any model.
Am I proud of it ? No, It is just that I have never felt this need.

Am I what some of you call a free loader ?
I don't know, so far the models I had been in contact with used the term "friend" - thanks Tben for the definition lol.
By the way, some of them still call me this way for more than 3 years now. Well...time flies...

Of course, I'm feeling lucky, I must have met very special persons on my way through this camming world. The kind of persons that make you want to set a forum up with an american professor...hehe

So, Private or not ?
Not necessarily it seems...

I've heard that no matter the way you did it, only the result counts. This is indeed true for some, but also deadly wrong for the others.

Also, once you have made your choice, I guess that it is difficult to switch your mind. It could be easily taken as an affront.

Do whatever you enjoy, Enjoy whatever you do.

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#27 [url]

Dec 23 08 8:18 AM

My favorite model reminded me, "We learn by asking questions!"

This quote just arrived in my email today from another source. Thought it fits right in with the discussion here.

Excerpted from the third chapter of Sharon Salzberg's book Faith: Trusting Your Own Deepest Experience:

QUOTE
Questioning means longing to know the truth deeply, and insisting that we can. It means leaving whatever distant slant we may occupy to come close and see more directly what is true. And it means being willing to be honest about how we ourselves are seeing things, even if that vision differs from the norm. Learning to question means feeling we have the right to all of this.


A longer 3rd chapter excerpt and recording from Faith: Deepening our Power to Inquire

Slider, my hat is off to you. It seems to me that you are 'paying' for your friendship with your model friends by extending your own friendship, trust, and respect for those you consider to be friends. Not to mention all the time you've spent here helping keep the forum going and also helping models along the way.

Be kind, for [nearly] everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. -- Philo
Curiosity Didn't Kill This Cat. -- Studs Terkel
Simply paying attention allows us to build an emotional connection. Lacking attention, empathy hasn't a chance. --Daniel Goleman

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#29 [url]

Dec 23 08 2:31 PM

Well said, Bettersweet! Hat's off to you too!

Be kind, for [nearly] everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. -- Philo
Curiosity Didn't Kill This Cat. -- Studs Terkel
Simply paying attention allows us to build an emotional connection. Lacking attention, empathy hasn't a chance. --Daniel Goleman

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andreea

Regular Newbie

Posts: 16

#30 [url]

May 9 09 5:19 PM

Good question: if u like a model should u pvt her ? YES OF COURSEEEE! On these sites everything resumes to pvt. U make yourself seen only by pvt . Free chat is freechat. U can meet there even cucumbers..and u don't know you're talking to a cucumber.

Now if u r talking about liking her more than a friend...like having a crush on her...no ..don't pvt her.. I mean if u want something more from her and vice versa. That's why messenger...icq...msn were invented. Talk on there..and instead of taking her pvt, send her the money. It's better - even if it's 50 dollars. Because the site gets a big part anyway..plus if she doesn't work from home, she will spit everything fifty fifty with studio.

About this 50-50 split. I think it's ok....The percentage is big, that's true...but it's in the studio that u learn everything you need to know, even how to type...how to talk...how to say hello and good-bye...U have a pc..a bad or good design of room...Everything u need to chat nicely with elegance. Plus...they mostly ask for this percentage because the BOSS is the one who made the site. If I were a boss, I would do same..I mean..it's my business. The models make money too but it's me as the boss who gave them the chance to make money - plus everything else they needs. Everyone has to earn something. Now fairness depends on what the boss asks u to do extra in addition if he asks you...The boss I had was okay.. What I didn't like about him was the fact that he was late sometimes in paying us our money..As for the rest he was fine..but work is work, and fun is fun.

Coming back to subject....if u really like the model send her the money by wire.. that way she doesn't have to share...and at least u know she will spend those on something that she likes or needs...and she won't have to wait to get her salary. Trust me she will remember you, but don't rush her too much too. Because as model..it's stressful sometimes...especially if u have to do a targeted quota of minutes per shift..and u don't make it..and u have to stay extra at work..

I don't know if u understand, but its really annoying having to say: "Hi. how are u." one million times per day, and do the same and same thing every day...U get to a point when u start to feel like a robot at work...and u start not to have so much fun or enjoyment. And the ones who ruin the chats are the beggars when they start in with "show me this and show me that." It would be so nice if everyone would read the rules at least once and try to have a nice conversation. I know that sex is sex...but as model...U will never "get wet" in free chat for the next 3 minute private . That's why we fake it too :Dplus..because of the money...a minute is 5$ for example...How much can u wank or squirt in a 3 minute pvt without rushing and asking yourself again and again .."Does the member like this". It's stressful because somehow u have to keep him there.

Oh and another thing....U don't impress with 50$ sent by Western Union...it's better to send her a t-shirt b for 10 dollars or a nice bracelet for $20 instead of 50$. If it's money that she really need for rent or bills...now that's a different matter, but as long as u r yourself and not a liar everything is fine..
and again.....be careful with who u are talking with

On internet u can be a cucumber too if u want..and I think u know of "William's story"

ok bye..
I'm going to read others things too
kissssss
And sorry for my grammar...I typed fast...and in under 3 minutes.
kissesssssss

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#31 [url]

May 9 09 11:02 PM

Thanks for this interesting statement, Andreea.. Turns out you have quite a lot to tell us after all...So I am very glad that you have reconsidered your decision last fall to treat posting here as a mistake.

One thing especially struck me in all that you say here and that's this comment:
"I know that sex is sex but as a model, you will never 'get wet" in free chat for the next 3 minute private. That's why we fake it too..."

Wait a minute! Do you mean to say that models are not faking their climaxes in almost all of the private sessions that they perform? How does anybody stay "wet" during an eight hour shift - unless their "wetness" comes out of a bottle? And not fake it, if you are taken private time and time again in a series of "command performances.."??

This is pretty much what I was told by a former studio colleague of yours who made this comment to me a month ago:
Mya: "This is not sex. This is pretending that you are touching yourself. Did u see any of us having sex? You see masturbation. And some of them barely touch themselves."

This just doesn't seem believable to me that we are seeing anything more than a "sexual simulation - not stimulation." But apparently I am wrong - as we can see in this old thread on models "getting off" with customers...
http://camgirlnotes.15.forumer.com/index.php?showtopic=246

What do you think Andreea?

UL

"I would no more be a Master than a slave. It does not conform to my idea of Democracy." Abraham Lincoln 1856.

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#32 [url]

May 10 09 3:55 AM

Interesting. Why would I take a model private if not but for fake sex? Made to
order porn, so to speak. And if I simply wanted to talk to a person, well, I
suspect I am in the wrong place, but lets go with it for the moment :-) Why
would I send her money to get noticed? If all I really want to do is chat, there are
many other places on the internet to go. So, for me, the only real reason to
talk with any particular model is seeing something worthwhile in that specific
person that made me want to speak with them. Someone posted a link to some
sort of virtual world - wouldn't that be a better place to spend money and meet
people?

Interesting the mention of sending a gift. First, I am surprised a model would
give out an address. This would seem to be very, very risky. We have all been
made aware of the dangers of sex slavery. What better target than some woman
you can see on cam? In the US, we have P.O. boxes - a place in the post office
to receive mail. But, still, very dangerous, it would seem to me. And of course, the
member guidelines at MFC specifically try to talk members out of doing this. Just
send a tip, they say. No where does it say what MFC's cut on a tip is. The
private show, group show, etc, cut is noted, but I could not find the tip cut. I can't
believe models get 100% of the tip (less the studio overhead).

I am quite certain it is possible to meet people online, fall in love,
and marry. My brother did it, but I don't think he met her in a cam-room. Well,
actually, I can be quite certain of that. Some sort of games site, I think.
Anyhow, they are happy, and she is a good person. Also, from Canada, so
not an Eastern European "find a wife" site, for sure.

So, I have many other friends, and they speak to me. And I do not wire them
money :-) Well, maybe if they have gotten into trouble :-) But, outside of that,
why in the world would I do such a thing? Sometimes I liked to give tips on MFC -
I sort of thought of it as buying someone a drink or dinner, perhaps. It made me
happy to give to people that at that time I thought were friends. But, I did not
do it to be noticed. She knew who I was.

So, we come back to "it's a business - this is why I am online", I suppose. Fair
enough, but it doesn't explain why anyone should send money for nothing. Business.

Now, if I were really close to someone - a good friend - I would unquestionably send
money to help pay for education or whatever. I have payed bail for a friend's son,
and I would help pay for certain people's education if it comes to that. But, someone
I do not know?

I don't get it.

As for private: hmmm. I actually have never done that. It would feel strange, I
think, telling a woman what to do and knowing she almost certainly would. That
is not how sex is - you do not "tell" someone what to do - unless you are playing a
game, perhaps. But, in such a game, there is an out, right? But, I did try "spying"
or voyeur as they call it on MFC. With someone you do not know, it is just like
regular ole porn.

If you know the person and have some feelings for them - not love - but a friendly
feeling so to speak....well, that is different. At that point, I had to bow out.
I found the experience rather powerful ... too much like the real thing, with emotion,
and yet, presumably not because I guess she did not know I was there. Who knows.
Very experienced cam model - little gets by her. Probably reading this. She might
even know the code between the name I use here and the name I use on the site. :-)
But, you would hope she was concentrating on the person paying her 60/tokens a minute
and not me.

So, to end: going private, as andreea said, is not something you want to take lightly
if you know who you are going with, and I have to wonder: why not download any
of the zillions of free porn clips if you don't? Why pay $6/minute? I guess if you
want made to order porn. I don't know. Maybe people going private are not as
adept as I am with google and turning off safe search :-) Not to mention the helpful
folk at reddit and other places.

Ah, I have a reason! You can catch a CTD going to those sites (computer transmitted
disease :-)!!! So, MFC and privates are safer! I'm sorry, I don't mean to poke
fun, but I am rotfl. It is good to amuse oneself. Keeps your hands where they belong.

Anyone attempting to use the above idea in a marketing campaign owes me.

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#33 [url]

May 10 09 4:57 PM

Well Andreea, seems you have enlightened us to your ideologies, thoughts and feelings towards this particular topic. And we thank you for your openness and honesty on this subject. Of course, the members that have gone private may feel used, or may even get angry from what you have written too.

Ah yes, some men enjoy the entertainment afforded to them via a porn site to relieve themselves of their frustrated sexual libidos. And as you have mentioned above, you thankfully, oblige them to fulfill their fantasies.

Well quite logically, you wish to get paid for providing that service. And your clients are paying for that service, it is as simple as that isn't it.

As Uncle points out it may be more of a simulation than stimulation for some models as well. As long as both parties are satisfied.

And yes, occassionally, a member and a model will find a mutual connection that they both find agreeable. How wonderful that is when two people with similar interests meet and make a connection.

rs3, has seems to have realized what this all is about as well.

Uncle some of these ladies are wet during their shifts I might add. It adds to the allure and the obvious purpose that they work there for. I suppose these particular ladies, find this job as a means to satisfy their own urges and needs as well.

Now as you wrote here Andreea;

QUOTE
Coming back to subject....if u really like the model send her the money by wire.. that way she doesn't have to share...and at least u know she will spend those on something that she likes or needs...and she won't have to wait to get her salary. Trust me she will remember you, but don't rush her too much too. Because as model..it's stressful sometimes...especially if u have to do a targeted quota of minutes per shift..and u don't make it..and u have to stay extra at work..


So if a particular man likes a particular woman, she should get paid? Does that mean getting "paid" for the "fun" you both agreed upon to bypass the system? Or is it to further your romantic interests? I mean women expect men to fawn and lavish their love and affection to a woman in reality. There are oh so many ways that payment for that affection is shown.

In reality: a man will take a woman out to the movies, or to dinner, or dancing. As time continues, a gift will be received, to display more affection and love. Like a necklace, a ring or flowers, and so on. Eventually, what might that lead them both to? Well happiness and marriage perhaps.
So men pay for it in many ways. And yes of course, in your mind, you will acknowledge, that women pay for it as well.

I think and if I am wrong,please do correct me, in this observation, that most of these ladies employed in this type of work, somehow have a different mindset, which uses their learned talents from their work in real life situations when it comes to real relationships. Or is it that real life experiences are brought and employed in the work they do?

I do believe, that is a difference in cultures and upbringing between some people as well. That for some men, paying you in that fashion, is not what true love or friendship is. But just a friend assisting another acquaintance out when times are hard. Like I have said before many times, love does not require monetary payments.Niether does true friendship. Unless you are using each other for other motivations. But hey, we can agree to disagree.

And I will add from your very words:
QUOTE
Now if u r talking about liking her more than a friend...like having a crush on her...no ..don't pvt her.. I mean if u want something more from her and vice versa. That's why messenger...icq...msn were invented. Talk on there..and instead of taking her pvt, send her the money.


If you do not want this man you like to spend his money so it can be shared by your bosses, your still asking this man to send you money for her time perhaps as some sort of compensation. So Andreea, what are you getting at here?

Is it possible that a man can be just as poor as a woman? Is it possible for 2 people to love and be friends and be poor? Or does the need for money surpass any true love and friendship, and is it the most important thing when love and friendship occur?

This is where, things become even more troublesome. Why should a man have to pay you or send you material gifts? Because you like each other I suppose. That's what you expect will prove that he does like and love you.

Now I am going to admit something to you in all honesty. What if a man never took a woman private and he was chased by a model that works there? What if a lady said there is no want for any money and simply likes this man? What then? What if when these 2 people met, this man knew all about the abuse and misuse of your fun job. Apparently by members and models alike.

If this is all a simulation simply for women to earn money faking and fulfilling a fantasy for some men, then what about the genuine care and concern for another person with no monetary exchanges. Is that real unbiased love?

But then I suppose you would say then why is that member there? Perhaps the answer is a crime of passion. Are you admitting that you feel the need to be paid for just being friends? And are you saying that some men are never fooled? Or they set themselves up to be fools?

But anyway, you wrote it like you had feelings. And next time, you should think before you come to a conclusion when meeting someone,somewhere. Never ever stereotype
all the people you meet in your chat room anywhere. And I say in any of those chat rooms you work on Miss Andreea. For your making a big error in judgement upon some people.

Thank you for your posts Andreea.

The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil...is for good men to do nothing
Edmund Burke(1729-1797)
Irish Philosopher,statesman


�With integrity, nothing else counts. Without integrity, nothing else counts.�

We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them. � Albert Einstein.

"To see what is right, and not to do it, is want of courage or of principle."
Confucius

STAY THE F..K OUT OF CAMLAND...YOU ARE ALL FODDER

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#34 [url]

May 11 09 3:56 AM

"Ah yes, some men enjoy the entertainment afforded to them via a porn site to relieve themselves of their frustrated sexual libidos. And as you have mentioned above, you thankfully, oblige them to fulfill their fantasies."

I am married, and my sex drive far outstrips my wife's. There are many reasons
for this, but largely, I believe, because of medication she must take. So, perhaps
this fits the "frustrated sexual libidos" you mention above. I think of it as simply
handling a difficult situation without making sex a central point of argument in
our marriage. Porn is helpful. Nothing more and nothing less. I make no
apologies for it. It keeps my home at night :-)

I always kinda suspected making porn is just as hard on a woman as working a cam.
You can see it in the photos of the same woman, over time. The hardening.

It is a delima I face and have no answer for.

And normally, you do not have to confront the situation since I would not normally
meet someone working in porn. I just don't live where it is made.

And if you do not bother to get to know anyone on a cam site, then it is just the same.

But, if you do, well that does change things. For a while. And then you read
what...one woman tells me she is playing a role, while another is freakin angry
at me for thinking she is.

Ah well...still thinking...and trying not to judge. But, one friendship is certainly
over. I don't think it was real anyhow. Probably just someone responding to be
"nice".

The other...don't know.

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#35 [url]

May 11 09 11:19 AM

rs3, thank you for that reply. You seem to have pointed out to me if not to many others another reason why porn is beneficial. To be honest again, I had never thought about that scenario, but perhaps some that work in the industry have known or understood it.

What I was pointing out, not just to you, but to these women that do work in this industry of camming, is not the fact that they supply a needed service for many, but how some use the work as another means to promote other "things".

I could care less if they are naked, or enjoy being an exhibitionist, or in fact enjoy masturbating on camera for a price. Of course, there is the reason why some things become a blur, become a conflict, or just get out of hand(no pun intended). Placing a price on things that lead to "affairs of the heart" not only makes it a traded commodity but places unexpected stress and possible problems between the 2 involved.

I always maintained, do not hurt another, or manipulate others, when greed overtakes other human traits that are exchanged in this industry. In the end it just is not worth the sacrifice.

The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil...is for good men to do nothing
Edmund Burke(1729-1797)
Irish Philosopher,statesman


�With integrity, nothing else counts. Without integrity, nothing else counts.�

We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them. � Albert Einstein.

"To see what is right, and not to do it, is want of courage or of principle."
Confucius

STAY THE F..K OUT OF CAMLAND...YOU ARE ALL FODDER

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#37 [url]

Jun 29 09 1:22 AM

Obviously an easy topic to get yourself mired down in if you overthink it.

The answer is a resounding "Yes" for some, and a resounding "No" for others. Both are equally correct.

It all boils down to your personality, what you're going there for in the first place and how you're going to feel about yourself afterwards.

Breeze



~ ~ AFFINITY ~ ~

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#39 [url]

Jul 2 09 5:29 PM

Interesting how my own viewpoint changes. I now disagree with about 1/2 of what
*I* wrote above. The longest note I wrote is still valid, but many of the smaller ones
after, not. For instance, I am now certain that what I wrote about my two friends was
very wrong - both are good people working and living under difficult circumstances.
I was swayed by some of the angrier posts on this forum and forgot to trust my own
judgement.

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#40 [url]

Jul 2 09 8:59 PM

Isn't the plasticity and nature of our minds a wonderful thing! I am always amazed that I am still learning a thing or two every day. Someday, when I take the time, I'll go back and re-read all of the posts that I've made here again ... I'm sure that the process will help me learn even more about a few changes in my perspective.

Be kind, for [nearly] everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. -- Philo
Curiosity Didn't Kill This Cat. -- Studs Terkel
Simply paying attention allows us to build an emotional connection. Lacking attention, empathy hasn't a chance. --Daniel Goleman

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